Wedding shower vs. bridal shower: what’s the difference?
While “wedding shower” and “bridal shower” are often used interchangeably, the two differ greatly in terms of guest list, host, venue, and gift expectations. A bridal shower is traditionally a gendered celebration for the bride and the women in her life. In contrast, a wedding shower is a more gender neutral event that celebrates the couple as a whole (including weddings that don’t have a bride). The question is: Which one is the best fit for your pre-wedding celebration?
Both showers bring loved ones together to honor an upcoming marriage, but wedding showers and bridal showers are not exactly alike. Dive into the differences between a wedding shower and a bridal shower to decide which one you should host, and how that affects the rest of your planning. (Hint: desserts and classic party games are appreciated at both.)
Bridal shower vs. wedding shower
Before you choose between sending bridal and wedding shower invitations, learn the key differences and decide which type of shower is right for you.
What is a bridal shower?
If you’re planning a bridal shower, you’re getting ready to celebrate a woman who’s about to be married. These parties tend to be more gender-specific and focused on the bride-to-be, and are often hosted by a woman close to the bride, such as the maid of honor.
To celebrate a wedding for two brides, the bridal shower can honor one or both of the women getting married.
What is a wedding shower (or couple’s shower)?
Wedding showers, also known as “couples’ showers,” celebrate both members of the couple getting married, rather than just the bride. Couples’ showers have grown in popularity to match expanding societal norms and to allow the couple to celebrate with all of the people they love, regardless of gender. It’s also a good way to keep language inclusive for weddings with two brides or two grooms.
Can you have both a bridal shower and a wedding shower?
For couples with more well-wishers than they can count, having both a bridal shower and a wedding shower is acceptable. A bride may want to celebrate with her family and friends, for example, but the couple’s church or workplace might also want to honor the couple as a whole.
If you’re throwing a bridal shower and a wedding shower, make sure the guest list and the dates you host the events don’t overlap too much. Inviting guests to two different gift-giving events before the wedding may not be considered proper wedding shower etiquette.
Differences between a wedding shower and bridal shower
Choosing between pre-wedding celebrations doesn’t stop with the guest of honor. There are a few more differences to consider before you decide which type of shower is best for your soon-to-be newlyweds.
Guest list
While the guest lists for these events often include friends and family, there are often a few differences in who’s invited to each.
- Bridal shower: Invite members of the bridal party or the bride’s female close friends and family members of all ages.
- Wedding shower or couple’s shower: All genders can be on the guest list! The guests of honor often want other couples that they know to attend. It’s considered good etiquette to only invite guests who are also invited to the wedding.
Invitations
The timing for sending bridal shower invitations and wedding shower invitations is about the same—around 6–8 weeks before the event. But you can find different design options and templates for bridal showers vs. wedding showers. Bridal shower invitations often reflect the party theme—garden party, afternoon tea, spa day—while wedding shower invitations tend toward gender-neutral designs that appeal to both members of the couple.
- Bridal shower: Bridal shower invitations tend to be more floral and feminine, like the “Flowers and Lace” invitation by Happy Menocal. Bridal shower themes can also be centered around a specific activity, like the “A Spot of Joy” invitation by Nathalie Lété for an afternoon tea-themed bridal shower.
- Wedding shower: Wedding shower invitations are more gender-neutral because they highlight both members of a couple. The “Purple Orchid” invitation by Dogwood Hill or the “Midnight Vines” invitation by Paperless Post are classic wedding shower invitations that work for most themes and types of events.
Shower host
Can the host of a wedding shower and a bridal shower be the same person? Maybe, depending on the couple—and the host.
- Bridal shower: The host is usually a woman who is close to the bride, such as a maid of honor, bridesmaid, sister, or friend. The most common host of a bridal shower is the mother of the bride or groom.
- Wedding shower: Anyone can host a wedding shower, whether it’s someone related to one member of the couple or a group of people who know them both, like the couple’s parents or friends.
Shower venues
Even the venue of your event may differ, depending on whether you’re throwing a bridal or wedding shower. However, many venues work for both occasions.
- Bridal shower: Relatives’ homes, dining halls, brunch restaurants, and tea houses are popular venues to host a shower for the bride.
- Wedding shower: Couples’ showers often require larger venues since they include more guests. Backyards, parks, and recreational areas make good wedding shower venues.
Shower gifts
Both shower celebrations are considered gift-giving occasions—but what’s in the gifts may not be the same for both parties.
- Bridal shower: Bridal shower gifts often include household items from their registry in addition to lingerie and other traditionally feminine items.
- Wedding shower: Wedding shower gifts include registry items and other gifts that benefit the couple, including honeymoon funds.
Activities and games
One last detail that sets showers for the bride apart from couples’ showers is the activities and games.
- Bridal shower: Traditional bridal shower games are centered around the bride, including “Toilet Paper Wedding Dress,” “Pin the Veil on the Bride,” and “Match the Celebrity Wedding Dress.”
- Wedding shower: Wedding shower games focus more on the couple, including quizzes about their dating history. These shower games can also be competitive between couples or between genders, depending on the makeup of your party’s guest list.
What is the difference between a bridal shower and a bachelorette party?
While bridal showers and bachelorette parties are both traditionally women-only events that celebrate a bride before the big day, they have notable differences. A bridal shower is usually a more family-friendly event that takes place during the daytime and is focused on “showering” the bride with gifts. In contrast, a bachelorette party is typically adults-only and centers around an evening activity, or sometimes a multiple-day celebration.
The history of bridal showers
The tradition of a bridal shower dates back to the 16th-century dowry system. Brides whose families approved of their match provided a dowry—or monetary gift—to the couple. But brides whose families did not approve of the marriage needed help from their community to gather gifts for their future households.
Today, bridal showers—and wedding showers—are a little more lighthearted and often include games, favors, desserts, and registries, but the purpose of a shower for the bride remains the same: to support a new couple as they move into the future together
FAQ
What is the point of a wedding shower?
The point of a wedding shower is to celebrate the wedded couple-to-be before the big day, traditionally with the purpose of providing them with gifts for their new home.
Who usually plans a wedding shower?
A wedding shower is usually planned by someone close to the couple, such as members of the wedding party or the couple’s immediate family.
What is the etiquette for wedding showers?
It’s good etiquette for wedding shower guests to familiarize themselves with the shower theme and try to bring a shower gift that matches it. When in doubt, don’t be afraid to check in with friends, family, or even the couple’s social media accounts to find a gift that matches their hobbies and interests.
Can the same guests be invited to both a bridal shower and a wedding shower?
Traditionally, a bridal shower is a gendered event for women only, but it all depends on the couple. Remember, if you are invited to the wedding shower and the bridal shower, you are only expected to bring a gift for one.
Shower them with love with the help of Paperless Post
Whether you’re throwing a bridal shower, wedding shower, or your own unique brand of pre-wedding celebration, Paperless Post has what you need to pull off all the big days that come before the bigger day. Add a co-host to any Paperless Post invitation to split the work of event management, RSVP tracking, and answering guests’ questions. And make sure the newlyweds-to-be get what they need by adding a Registry Block with links to all of their wedding registries on the invitation’s event page.
When it’s time to write your invitations, use our guide for bridal and wedding shower invitation wording. Your job is to support your loved ones as they step into the rest of their lives—let us do the rest.
Find beautiful, customizable shower invitations the bride-to-be will love.
