Wedding gift etiquette for guests
Attending a wedding is an exciting celebration of love, but it often comes with questions about wedding gift etiquette. From figuring out what to give as a wedding gift to understanding how much to spend on a wedding gift, there are a lot of decisions to make. So, we’re here to shed some light on the do’s, don’ts, and everything in between when it comes to gifting for the big day. Keep in mind: these are guidelines, not hard and fast rules you absolutely must follow. Every couple, wedding, and relationship is different, and your gift should reflect what feels meaningful and comfortable for you. Let’s dive in and break it all down so you can gift with confidence.
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Wedding gift rules and etiquette for guests
Navigating wedding registry etiquette for guests and deciding how to give a thoughtful, appropriate gift doesn’t need to be stressful. Here are some key tips and etiquette rules to follow to ensure your gift is appreciated and appropriate.
1. Stick to the registry…mostly
When it comes to choosing what to give as a wedding gift, the easiest and most reliable route is the couple’s wedding registry. Couples usually create a registry to guide guests toward items they truly want and need, so it’s wise and recommended to stick to what’s on there—even if you’re not crazy about their choice of pots and pans. If you do choose to go off-registry, make sure the item is something the newlyweds will genuinely love.
In terms of finding the gift registry: If the couple sent their invitations through Paperless Post, there’s likely to be a Registry Block on their event page linking directly to the sites they’ve registered with. For printed invitations, the registry may be included as a QR code or a direct link. Either way, make sure to purchase your gift through their registry when possible, so it automatically updates their gift list and avoids duplicates.
2. Cash gifts are perfectly acceptable
Cash or monetary gifts are no longer considered tacky or impersonal and have become an increasingly popular way to gift when it comes to weddings. To make it easy, many couples maintain a honeymoon or online gift fund where you can send money directly with a note. Some may even have a collection box at the wedding itself for guests who prefer to give in person. Before bringing an envelope of cash to the wedding, we recommend checking to see if this is something the couple wants, as the wedding day can be chaotic, and you don’t want to risk your gift getting lost.
Older couples, or those who already have a home full of essentials, often appreciate cash gifts more than traditional registry items. Even a modest cash gift can be meaningful, particularly if attending the wedding already incurs travel or other costs.
3. Consider your budget carefully
One of the most common questions is how much to spend on a wedding gift. While many wedding guests spend around $150 on a gift, your budget and relationship to the couple should guide your decision.
For close friends or members of the wedding party, you might spend more. For coworkers or more distant family members, a smaller contribution is appropriate. Similarly, you’ll want to consider how much to spend on a bridal shower gift, which is generally less—around $50–$75 is typical. Ultimately, your gift should reflect what feels comfortable for you while honoring the couple.
What is an appropriate wedding gift amount? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but thoughtful consideration of your budget and relationship to the newlyweds is always a reliable way to land on your answer.
4. Team up for a group gift
Pooling resources with other wedding guests to purchase a group gift is an excellent solution for big-ticket items left on the registry. It’s perfect if you want to give the couple something special without stretching your personal budget. Make sure everyone contributing is acknowledged in a note so the couple knows who the gift is from and who to thank. Doing a large group gift is especially helpful if you’re a member of the bridal party or have already spent money on bridal shower gifts, bachelorette party contributions, or other celebrations.
5. Consider the wedding destination and travel costs
Destination weddings present a unique challenge. Some believe that attending the wedding counts as a gift for the couple, given the costs of travel, accommodations, and time off work involved. Others prefer to give a smaller or delayed gift to balance out travel costs.
Assess your relationship with the couple and your financial situation. Sending a thoughtful gift after the wedding is perfectly acceptable, and it allows you to honor the newlyweds without overextending yourself. The key is to make a gesture that feels appropriate to your connection with the couple.
6. Send your gift directly to the couple
These days, couples often register online, and ordering through their registry will send the gift directly to them—making it easy on both sides. If you purchase in person at a store, some locations will wrap and deliver the gift for you, or allow the couple to pick it up. Bringing a gift to the wedding is usually discouraged, as things can get lost during the big day.
As for timing, you can send a gift as soon as you receive the save the date, anytime between receiving the invitation and the wedding, or even up to a year after the wedding—though sooner is always better. The key is to choose what’s easiest for the couple and fits your schedule, especially if travel or destination logistics are involved.
Wedding gift FAQs
Do you give a gift for a destination wedding?
Attending a destination wedding often counts as a gift, due to the travel and accommodations involved. If you’d like to give something extra, consider a smaller or delayed gift that reflects your budget and relationship to the couple.
Do I bring my gift to the wedding?
It’s usually easier to send the gift directly to the couple via their registry. If you do buy in person, check if the store offers wrapping and delivery. Bringing gifts to the wedding is not typically necessary.
Do I need to bring a gift if I’m in the wedding party?
Yes. Wedding party members are generally expected to give a gift, but consider your overall contributions—including bachelorette or shower spending—when deciding the amount.
When should I send a wedding gift if I can’t attend the ceremony?
You’re not required to send a gift if you can’t attend, especially for distant family or coworkers. However, a small gift is a thoughtful way to celebrate the couple from afar, and can be sent on the same timeline as the guests attending.
Additionally, guests who are unable to attend can opt to send a Paperless Post wedding card to congratulate the happy couple, and can even schedule it to be delivered via email or text message on the day of the wedding.
Can a group give a wedding gift together?
Absolutely. Pooling funds with other guests allows you to give the couple a larger gift while staying within your budget. Include all contributors’ names so the couple knows who to thank.
Can I buy a wedding gift that isn’t on the registry?
You can, but couples typically register for items they really want. Consider giving a gift card to a registry store or cash instead if you want flexibility.
Do I have to give a wedding gift if the couple elopes?
No, but a thoughtful gesture is appreciated. If there’s no registry, consider taking the couple to dinner or sending a nice bottle of wine.
Do I need to buy a bridal shower gift and a wedding gift?
Yes. The bridal shower gift is generally smaller ($50–$75) and given at the shower, while the wedding gift is separate and reflects your budget and relationship with the couple.
Plan your wedding or next event with Paperless Post
Navigating the world of wedding gift etiquette doesn’t have to feel stressful or overwhelming. Whether you’re a first-time guest or someone looking to refresh your memory, thoughtful planning and these simple guidelines can help you give a gift that’s meaningful, appropriate, and appreciated.
If you’re planning your own big day or another special celebration, Paperless Post makes it easy to manage every detail with style and simplicity. From beautifully designed invitations to RSVP tracking, event pages, and customizable templates, Paperless Post helps you stay organized while creating an experience your guests will love. With tools that save time and add a personal touch, planning your wedding—or any memorable event—has never been easier.
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