How to crash a party (hint: bring booze)

Come bearing gifts. Flowers or pie will do, but nothing tops a good old bottle of something to drink. Even if you’re not welcome at the party, your alcohol will be.

Combat the host’s look of shock or displeasure when she opens the door with an ear-to-ear grin and an exuberant bit about how fabulous she looks—it’s been ages since you’ve seen her, after all. Thrust your Trojan horse into her hands (party-crashing veterans can squeeze in a quick hug) and, most importantly, keep moving. Once you’re through the threshold, only the least gracious host would risk her party atmosphere (and your gift) to throw you out. We suggest catching the eye of another guest and launching immediately into a well-practiced oh-my-god-darling-is-that-really-you.

From open door to total infiltration, this tactic should take you no more than 90 seconds. It’s a tight timeline, so practice your side-stepping moves with a partner.

Original illustration by Cat.